Adoption Service - My Voice

My Voice

Voice of an Adoptee

13.A Healing Journey

Many years ago I was dropped off at the Po Leung Kuk orphanage as a newborn. Three and a half years later, I was adopted by a Dutch family who were living in Hong Kong at the time. A half-year after that, we all moved back to The Netherlands.

I grew up in a small village - I don’t remember anyone being anything but white and blond, and here I was a little Chinese girl. However, I did not feel discrimination… my mom said it happened from time to time, but she would not put up with it.

I love my parents - they gave me the love and discipline to be who I am today. So, it was not from a place of lack that I decided to find my birthmother, it was more from a place of curiosity. I did not want to die without knowing a little bit more about who she is, where I came from, why she gave me up, and to let her know that it was all ok - no upset, no expectations - I am happy.

How I found my birthmother

My first stop was a visit to Po Leung Kuk to get my birth records. I was 16 years old and went with my parents. During that visit, we were graciously given a tour, but the orphanage staff was not able to release any information about my birthmother or anything regarding my birth or my stay other than what they initially provided to my parents when I was adopted.

Ten years later, I went again to the orphanage with my Dutch, Chinese friend Yuki, and it was then that I came to know my birth time and receive a diary of my stay at the Orphanage. I am very grateful Po Leung Kuk maintained these notes and kept them all these years. So helpful to get a glimpse of the first few years of my life.

Unfortunately, Po Leung Kuk was not able to help me find my birth mom, but they suggested that we contact Red Cross in Hong Kong. I remember filling in a form, but nothing came of it.

Years later, the Hong Kong suggestion inspired me to make a website and share about my search for my birthmother. I was able to buy the domain redcross.hk and I put a one-page website up with all the information I knew about her and Yuki translated it to Chinese. By then, Facebook had also become very popular, so I searched her surname to see if I could find her that way.

In my search, I came upon one particular Facebook profile which intrigued me -It was a profile without a picture and with only four friends. I sent a “Friend” request and also sent messages to all four of her “friends”, asking if she was the woman I was looking for along with the link of the redcross.hk website I just put online. No reply at all … until six months later! *

But it wasn’t my birth mom who replied, it was her young daughter of another marriage, living in Australia who sent a message back!

You see, on the other side of the world my message left them with so many questions. No one knew of my birth… and yet this random message out of nowhere says someone is looking for their mom, gives her full name, birthdate and the orphanage name…might it be true?

My half-siblings, living in Australia are the ones who saw the message. You see, her kids actually set up the Facebook account for my birthmother, but she has never used it.

After my two half-sisters and my one half-brother discussed it amongst themselves, they then confronted my birthmother, who lives in Hong Kong, and asked if it was true… and she did not deny it. It was only after this moment that my conversations with my half-siblings began.

Understandably, it was at first a big shock to realize they had an older sister in The Netherlands, but once the initial surprise wore off, my half sibling sisters and brother and I would email and Skype to get to know one another a little better. My mother wrote a beautiful letter to my birthmother, I wrote a letter about my life, and my step-sister translated it for my birthmother. My step-sister was so kind and loving during this process.

And then, on Christmas 2015 we got all together on Skype: my parents, my birthmother, my half-siblings, my wife and me… I asked questions of my birthmother, and my parents and she spoke to one another. It was a beautiful yet emotional gathering together.

My birthmother did not speak English, and I did not speak Chinese, so it was up to my half-sisters and brothers to translate. They did a perfect job. So much love. They really held space for a lot of healing to happen.

After a while things got back to normal, and it was only every now and then that my half-siblings and I would reach out to one another. I always knew I would go to Hong Kong one day to meet my birthmother in person, it was a question of when.

Suddenly, on a day early in December 2018, my wife told me there was a really good sale on flights to Hong Kong right that moment. I looked and I found a great fare – but I have to leave in a week!

So, before I pressed the button on the airfare, I immediately contacted my half-sister to ask my birthmother if she was open to meet me and she said YES. I asked Yuki if I was able to stay with her for a week and she said YES. Yuki also said she would help me translate on our first meeting!

I did have another request of my birthmother, and that was would she be willing to cook a meal for me. The reasoning: Mothers always cook for their children, and when it comes to food and meals, that’s where conversations happen. My birthmother said YES!

Within 24 hours everything was arranged…and one week later I flew to Hong Kong!

Meeting face-to-face

On the 10th of December, Yuki and I met my birthmother in person for the very first time. We bought a big colorful cake and went to her apartment. I was quite nervous.

My birthmother had just moved into her new apartment a month earlier, but she did not have a table and chairs nor cooking pans! It was very special that she purchased them in the week before my visit so that she could cook and we could sit for the meal. It was especially kind given that she normally does not cook, as she always eats out.

She made her favorite dishes and we shared our stories. She told me she was not happy that I was looking for her and the reason why. A lot was unfolding during the meal. I shared that I’m very happy with my Dutch family and upbringing, so that she does not have to feel any guilt or shame.

I had no expectation of what this meeting would bring. I was open. She was open.

Yuki was so great at translating, and even captured the moments on camera and video. Amazingly, Yuki loves the Dutch television program ‘Spoorloos’, which is all about looking for lost family members or people you haven’t seen for awhile. She knew how to navigate the situation so well, and gave me the most perfect guidance. She also knew how to talk my birthmother in an empathetic and reassuring way. I was so fortunate to have her by my side in all ways.

After that initial meeting, my friend Yuki encouraged me to meet her more often, and she actually gave me her personal phone and sim-card, so I could use google translate. Incredible.

So the following days I got to know more of my birthmother’s daily life: we met in the city at Sham Shui Po station where she gave me a little tour, we ate at her favorite lunch place, I saw her workplace and then as a grand finale she took me to a karaoke bar and she sang for me! My birthmother has a beautiful voice and she is a very good singer. I also happened to meet some of her singing friends when we were walking through town… she introduced me as an “important friend”. It was very special.

After I met my birthmother, I called my Dutch parents and expressed how happy I am that they are my parents and for the love they have given me my whole life.

Today

Due to the language barrier, my birthmother and I communicate only occasionally – now and then we will send WhatsApp messages with emojis and images, but that is it.

The experience was very beautiful. Healing. I did not have any expectations – and it was perfect. It was fun to learn a little bit about my birthmother’s life, see that I got my nose from her and to discover that we are both playful and easy going.

I am very grateful to have connected with my half-sisters - they are such amazing women. Really loving, honest and smart. And I enjoy watching my half-brother and my half-sister’s adventures on social media.

In closing, if you are someone who is considering or desiring to meet your birth mom, I recommend to be patient, resourceful and not have too many expectations. It is also really helpful to have a friend who speaks fluent Chinese and understands the culture.

We are all on our individual journeys. What I know for sure, is that it would not have been in my mom’s or my well-being for her to have kept me. She did the right thing and I am so grateful. We never know the reasons why someone would give up a child. However, I trust that things work out for a reason. A DNA connection does not define family. My parents and adopted brothers have shown me this my entire life.

-------

* When you send a message on Facebook to people you are not ”friends” with, the message will automatically go to a greyed-out link in Messages called “Message Requests”. That is why it took so long for them to reply – they simply didn’t see it.

Voice of an Adoptee

12.Adoptive Family Sharing

For the five years we have been married, we have been waiting for the arrival of our own child. Like many others, we have waited, tried, disappointed, tried again, and from the disappointment we tried to comfort ourselves. It made us even more frustrated when our friends started to have their own kids and share their joy about their children. We tried different methods but the results were the same, which made us felt even worse.

Then we came across Po Leung Kuk’s website for adoption service by chance one day. With a mind to try, we called the social worker and thanks to her detailed walkthrough, we began to understand more about adoption and the application details.

We were invited by Po Leung Kuk’s social workers to participate in series of adoption courses and workshops. We learnt that adoption is to allow a child without biological relationship to grow healthily in a beloved, stable and permanent family. Adoption is a lifetime promise and it is another option to build a family. It is to build an enviable family with love, and through communication and responsibility.

After careful consideration, we made up our mind to apply for adoption even though the application process was complicated and requires thorough assessment. Pairing was also not guaranteed, but thanks to the endless encouragement from our friends, we were able to pass the assessment and successfully become an adoptive family.

The happiness when we received the phone call from Po Leung Kuk telling us that we were successfully paired up is hard to descirbe. We were finally able to have our own child and start a family of three.

We enjoyed travelling around before the arrival of our baby and our life schedules were irregular when Ting Ting first arrived. We were lucky to have my in-laws to look after our baby and teach us along the way. We are now hands on parents.

Watching our baby growing up every day is such a wonderful and grateful experience. I never thought that we could be paired up so quickly with such a lovely baby. In addition, thanks to the encouragement we have received from the social workers, family and friends, we were not alone in the adoption journey. We wish all adoptive family and adoptive family in waiting happiness!

Lam’s family

Voice of an Adoptee

11.Love conquers all

For us this was our second child adoption. It doesn’t mean much as each adoption process and child is different.

Having a child, regardless whether is adopted or not, is a journey (fantastic in our experience) that both my wife and I were willing to take. This journey was full of uncertainties from our side.

Adopting a child, according to us, means above all acceptance. To accept that our sons had a life before they became part of our family and to accept that some aspects and parts of their lives will remain unknown to us.

That and the fact that adoptive parents need to earn their children’s love are in our opinion fundamental aspects that any prospective parents shall be aware and address before they consider adoption.

We were lucky to have fantastic information and support from our social workers, a caring and understanding family and the encouragement of colleagues and friends as there were moments along the adoption process that we found difficult.

Probably the most wonderful and awkward (in equal parts) moment is when we first met each other. All our expectations, concerns, worries, uncertainties, hopes and fears experienced in previous months (sometimes endless months) have finally a shape of a child. A child that looks at us and don’t recognize us.

Our children are special and unique (as any child to his parents’ eyes). We feel blessed and fortunate to have them. We learn from them every day. They show us how simple and uncomplicated things can be.

Love conquers all.

Voice of an Adoptee

10.Adoption Journey - Clare, Rob, and Hudson

After being married for a few years, we decided to start a family. We tried using natural techniques without success and then turned to doctors to help us. We went through a number of tests and medical procedures; however, during the process it didn't feel right - it didn't feel like us. During a trip to Canada one Christmas, we turned to each other at the same time and said, "What do you think about adopting?" All of a sudden, our path felt right.

When we returned to Hong Kong we attended the initial adoption briefing put on by the Social Welfare Department and then selected Po Leung Kuk as our Adoption Service provider. We had an initial meeting with our social worker walked us through the process and laid out the information that we would need to provide. She was wonderful - knowledgeable, patient, and caring. The assessment process was very thorough. Often, even though we had submitted everything on the list provided, there were follow up documents to find and submit to prove additional information. At the time, the list of things we needed to do seemed endless, but all of the work up front before we entered the adoption pool really helped our social worker to know about our life, our families, and us. We also had a number of meetings with our social worker where she asked tough questions about our marriage, our families, and our expectations as parents. We often left the meetings emotionally exhausted; however, in looking back on the meetings they really helped to prepare us for the journey ahead. All of the articles, books, and homework we were assigned made us think through a lot of the challenges that we would face as parents and as a couple.

We finally submitted all of the paper work and it took a couple of months to get fully approved by the adoption panel as potential adoptive parents. When we finally were part of the matching panel we approached our first panel with excitement, but low expectations. It often takes a very long time to be matched (which we knew going into the process) so we were prepared to wait for the right child to enter our home. We didn't hear anything on the Thursday night, but Friday afternoon, we received a call - we had been matched. We were excited and terrified!

When you get matched you receive limited information and you need to make a decision quite quickly. It was a stressful few days for us; our hearts raced to say yes, but our heads told us to take our time. We consulted our family doctor and a friend in Canada to give us an idea of what Hudson's medical history meant for his growth and development. We talked to our families and friends who were overwhelmingly supportive of our choices. We talked, thought, slept on it, and made the best decision of our lives - to have this wonderful little boy join our family.

We met Hudson three days after saying yes to adopting him. He was a little shy at first, but after some time he warmed up right away. And when he hugged us we burst into tears. This felt right. It took about two weeks of meeting Hudson every day until he came home with us. This time was wonderful, but also exhausting. Visiting Hudson, buying and putting together furniture, baby-proofing the apartment, talking to doctors and setting up future appointments - we had to do a number of things to get ready for his arrival.

When he arrived, it was again wonderful and challenging. Our lives changed over night, as did our sleeping and eating patterns. We both worked very hard to bond with Hudson. The effort we put paid dividends as he really bonded with us well during our first two months together. It was hard work and we both had moments of exhaustion and crankiness. There were nights when we didn't sleep and were exhausted the next day. We both caught colds and were sick when Hudson was sick. We both lost a fair amount of weight in a short period of time. We weren't always as patient or kind to each other as we could have been, but we knew that our love for each other and for Hudson would help us get through the initial challenges. And it did. We know that adoption was the right choice for us. When we made the decision to start the process, it felt right. When Hudson joined our family, we felt complete. It was the best decision for us and we are so happy to be together as a family.

Voice of an Adoptee

9.A letter to our daughter (Ying Ying)

Dear Ying Ying,

Mom and Dad cannot have a child because of some health conditions. But we wanted to have a child and decided to apply for adoption at Po Leung Kuk before your birth in February 2015. The application procedure of adoption included a lot of interviews, assessments, home visits as well as a long of period of expectation and waiting time. After waiting for almost three years, God allowed us to meet you. Mom and Dad want to share this experience with you because we all have bumpy roads in our lives and we hope you can believe in yourself, be patient and persistent, and entrust the matter to our Father that our goal will be reached.

During the three years of waiting, Dad occasionally called up our social worker of Po Leung Kuk, Ms. CHAN, to ask about the matching progress. While Mom and Dad were anxious and disappointed after knowing that there had been no successful matching for us yet, Ms. CHAN’s laughter, encouragement and useful advice helped us bounce back. After talking to her, we would become relaxed again. We trusted that if God allowed us to be parents, He would give us opportunities and capabilities in handling this. Still, it was understandable that we were unsettled during the waiting period. We were very grateful for the presence of our positive and enthusiastic social worker.

In December 2017, we finally received the good news from our social worker, Ms. CHAN of Po Leung Kuk. It was such an exciting, joyful and deeply memorable experience in seeing you for the first time. You cried a lot and Mom and Dad worried that you might not be able to get used to a new environment. Fortunately, you were an easygoing baby and were able to adapt to the new environment quickly. I still remember that you came to our house and only cried for one night. All of us got along very naturally, as if we had been together for a long time.

We were blessed that before we met, you were taken care of by the Child Care Home where the staff took good care of you and trained you well. A lot of helping hands were offered since your birth. Do you know that? Mom and Dad were always grateful for your cleverness. You held your own feet, did a bridge pose when we changed your diapers. You could understand our words and responded well. It was unbelievable that a toddler of slightly more than one year old could be so smart. We believed that it was God’s mercy and best arrangement for these over-aged parents. It was such a big blessing to both of us.

Before we become your legal parents, we need to go through a six-month post-placement period. We thanked Ms. CHAN from Po Leung Kuk and Ms. TSANG from the Social Welfare Department for their advice about taking care of you. On 18 July, 2018, the Court granted us an Adoption Order and then we started a new good chapter in life. Our relatives and friends said you were lucky to be a member of our family and could have the love from both of us. However, Dad and Mom believe happiness is two way. We are happy because we meet our need – love. It is like the half of a heart shape that finds another half that has been missing.

Ying Ying, we hope you understand and don’t take happiness for granted. Happy or not depends on one’s appreciation. If you can appreciate, treasure, understand and gratify, your life will be full of happiness and satisfaction.

You should be grateful to your biological parents who have brought you to this world. They are the ones who gave you a life. Your biological mother entrusted you to us for her good reasons. You have to be forgiving to listen to their stories. Mom and Dad promised to teach you and provide a suitable environment for you to grow up healthily and happily, so that you can equip well and kick start your life journey. Life is full of joy, curiosity, excitement, and of course difficulties and challenges. You have to calmly deal with it, bearing in mind that Mom and Dad are always behind you, encourage you and our home is always here.

Love always and forever,

Mom and Dad

August 1, 2018

Voice of an Adoptee

8.Enjoy the journey that God has given us

Our dream to adopt children that was made more than two years ago has come true today. But we still feel like it is not real. Our adopted children are one elder brother and one younger sister. They have started a new life in our family, and they are in the heart of every family member, making each of us full of joy.

I can remember the whole adoption process, from the time our decision was made and an even longer period of time of waiting for the news. The process was full of fantasies. What are they like? Do they behave? Can we get along with one another? How to prepare ourselves for the adoption? How to take care of them? How to arrange schools? These hopes and dreams were very exciting, but as time went by, there was no news. Naturally, we felt disappointed.

When our social worker of Po Leung Kuk Adoption Services Unit told us about the match, we were overwhelmingly happy. We immediately prayed to God and thanked him for His pity and presents to us. We were full of longing and uncertainties in meeting with them. Although we serve children in the church, we were still very nervous. When we heard their voices for the first time, we were connected. When we first met, their innocence and kindness put our minds at ease.

I still remember their first night at our home. Even now we were still scared. They were not willing to sleep in a new environment. My son said he wanted to play with toys as an excuse to not to sleep. Suddenly, his fatigue and depressive mood drove him to cry his lungs out. I held him, comforted him, calmed him, and then hugged him to bed. The younger sister was even more challenging. We held her tight to make her sleep. But once we put her on her cradle, she cried, refused to sleep and just stood there. She insisted on standing in bed, even if she fell asleep. She could just stand in her bed for more than two hours, and her stubbornness really shocked us.

One day after they went to school, my daughter was running high fever because of infection (we could not tell at first because she was pretty lively). After having medication, her condition didn't improve. We were very nervous at that time and rushed her to the Accident and Emergency of the hospital. The doctor prescribed her special antipyretic medicine and she recovered on the second day. After this, we know how to take care of toddlers.

After more than half a year, the four of us have unwittingly established a good connection. Our son who has been very attached to his father started to seek the love of his mother. On the other hand, our daughter who held her mother tight in the past now looks for her father all day and only sleeps when he holds her little hands.

There were periods of time that caretaking made us tired. But if you think about it, we all try our best to live well. Don't let yourselves to be exhausted. We have learnt to take a step back, be easy and let go, this attitude makes ourselves and our family less tired and more relaxed. We communicated with them a lot and our bonding and love followed naturally.

We appreciated God for His support and arrangement for the adoption. Our family and friends held different views when they first knew about our adoption plan. Some were worried, some doubted and some supported our decision. As time went by, they gave us a lot of love and support and to our children as well. It was such a huge encouragement to us.

When our children grow up, we would like to say to them: "My son and daughter, we are very happy and full of gratitude as the parents of you two, not only for us to take care of you, but also for the joy you both have brought to us. Our home is not about its size, not about its history, but is all about the warmth and support that we give to one another. Our growth journey is short and rush, full of bumps, there have been challenges and difficulties, and sometimes we can be tired and exhausted. Life seems long but also short. We are here to accompany you but not to supervise you. It is not about material needs and it is also not about discipline. We are here to accompany you two in the process of growing up and we share our memories of that. God bless you both to live the right lives and enjoy the journey that God has given to us.”

Voice of an Adoptee

7. Fate brings us together (Tam’s Family)

When we were invited by Po Leung Kuk to share our adoption testimonials, we did not hesitate and immediately agreed. We would like to take this opportunity to appreciate the help and support we received from the social worker in bringing our family together, as well as to share our journey with others. Last but not least, we hope that our daughter would feel that life is full of happiness and hope when she reads this in the future.

In Hong Kong, adoption is often the last resort for failed pregnancies and we are no exception. Having failed several times, we had learnt to comfort ourselves and that life could also be wonderful without children. Adopting might have crossed our minds but was never considered seriously. It was one day when we came across an article where adoptive parents were sharing their adoption journey that really hit our hearts. The story was available online, the article wanted to point out that if husband and wife do not have blood relations, why does it matter if children do not have blood relations with their parents? It was then we decided to make the move.

The adoption journey was not easy. The procedure was complicated but luckily our application was approved. By the time we met our daughter for the first time, it was already around 1.5 years from the beginning of our application. We have forgotten how we spent that time, but the excitement and anxiety turned into tremendous joy when we were able to hold our daughter in our arms. Our world is now completed with the three of us together.

Before we brought our daughter home, we had to go through the three weeks “familiarity period”. We rushed to the Child Care Home to visit our daughter after work every day, however it was often the end of the day when we arrived and all we could do was to put her to sleep. Though the time we spent with our daughter was short and the commute was relatively long, we immediately forgot how tired when we saw the lights of the Child Care Home and all we wanted was to see our daughter’s smile. Equally unforgettable was the child care workers’ dedication in the Child Care Home. They took care of all the children in every possible way and it made us realize that the world is full of love. We are grateful of their help till this day. As new parents, we were clumsy in taking care of our daughter at the beginning when we could take our daughter home during the weekend, nonetheless we enjoyed it a lot.

The Child Care Home held a farewell party with all the children when the day finally arrived for us to bring our daughter home. This was when we turn a new wonderful page in our lives and we will always keep this day in our minds

It is magical to see our daughter growing up. Every day she is different from the previous day. We knew that her world rely on us when she learns to move her little fingers, looks at us with her smiles and call us Mum and Dad. Even more incredible is that her palm prints are very similar to ours, may be it is really fate that brought us together?

Throughout the adoption journey, we were often reminded that “Adoption is a lifelong commitment...”, we could not help but wonder, why is it not?

Lastly, we would like to thank Miss Chan from Po Leung Kuk, the volunteers and social workers of Mother’s Choice, as well as Miss. Ling of the Social Welfare Department and the heroes of our story. We would like to express our gratitude to our family and friends who have prayed for us throughout the journey, we are finally united and embark the path full of sunshine.

Voice of an Adoptee

6. Dear Po Leung Kuk ,

It does not seem possible that a year had already passed since we welcomed Jim and William into our home and our hearts.

Had it only been a year from the time we first looked at their profile from Nightlight’s** Hong Kong adoption program, and thought to ourselves, “Are we ready for 2 boys, brothers, from a different culture with a foreign language neither of us knew?”

Our answer...why not? We chose them, an act of will, not of chance nor consequence. Has it been as we expected? Yes, and more… It has been hard and easy, challenging and sobering, humbling and uplifting, all at the same time.

We have often been asked why we chose to adopt. Our answer can be summed up in one great truth: That we are ALL adopted children of our Father in Heaven, and we should do our part to make these abandoned children realize that they are children first and foremost of a good God.

To all that have helped us in this adoption journey, we thank all of you.

Abordo’s

Remarks:

*Mae is Mr. & Mrs. Abordo’s biological daughter.

** Nightlight Christian Adoption, as an overseas partner of Po Leung Kuk, is a licensed adoptive agency in the United States.

Voice of an Adoptee

5. Adoption makes Hong Kong our home

My wife and I had a long journey coming to adopt in Hong Kong. As teachers we have been able to travel and see much of the world, and we have learned to appreciate the experiences we can glean from time interacting with new cultures. When we realized that our journey would culminate in adoption, we did a lot of research, we literally could go anywhere in the world to teach. In the end Hong Kong was the best possible place for us. Having done a lot of reading about adoption in Hong Kong, I feel we were very well prepared for the application and evaluation process. We took a lot of time, making sure that in every phase of application we were giving ourselves time to process and reflect. Our social worker was incredibly supportive and patient as we prepared ourselves. This was really important for us, as a couple who was matched quicker than we had expected, it was essential that we were fully prepared.

Brendan and Noah have changed our lives in the way that all families change when children are added. We are more focused on our relationships with one another; having two more hearts to love, my wife and I have to be mindful of the time we invest in our marriage, it has made the moments we have together far richer. Our two boys are both Hong Kong Chinese and while my wife and I imagined travelling a lot more in our careers, we have decided to make Hong Kong our home, we want to be here for the boys to grow up as close to their birth culture as possible. So I suppose the adoptions have not only given us a family, but also a country to call home.

Voice of an Adoptee

4. A Cherished Way We Have

Sharing by an adoptive father

As foreigners to HK, the adoption process was quite daunting. We had an idea of the process but did not realise how thorough the assessments would be. Our social worker treated us with support, humour and patience. In return, we were open, honest and realistic with her. We could feel her willing us on, and not harshly judging us, as we had feared beforehand.

We always knew we wanted to adopt but we had also experienced infertility. The process made us carefully consider our reasons for adoption. We realised that adoption was not a cure for infertility but it did allow us to realise our dreams of being loving and caring parents. These dreams have come true every day since we adopted Tabitha.

We cherish every day with Tabitha. She is developing so quickly and so are we as new parents. We implemented a lot of attachment techniques which eased the transition and Tabitha now has a lot of happy days. We are enormously proud to be her parents.
The process has also taught us that you cannot tame the future. We are excited to ride this journey and see what type of person Tabitha will develop into.

Voice of an Adoptee

3. Our adoption experience - love beyond blood relationship

After nearly 12 months' research and collection of information, we had finally selected "Po Leung Kuk" in February 2012 for our adoption arrangement. From completion of the application form, submission of medical report, financial documents, criminal record check document, participation in adoption briefing session and child care programme to the final stage of home assessment, it had already September 2012. Next, we looked forward to the arrival of a new family member and how good our new life would be. However, we did not know that is the beginning of the test of our patience.

It was a very long waiting process. God blessed us, we had finally received a good news from Miss Chan of Po Leung Kuk on 10 July 2014. Miss Chan and Mr. Lau from Social Welfare Department had soon arranged a meeting for us at the Child Care Home of Mother’s Choice. On 16 July, we first met with our baby. Having gone through all formalities, the head of the Child Care Home handed a four-month-old baby girl into our arms. It was amazing that this baby was no stranger to us. It seemed that we have “blood relationship” from this moment and love grows between us at this moment.

In order to strengthen the bonds between us and the baby girl, Child Care Home had arranged us to spend more time with her. In these days, we went to the Child Care Home every day for feeding, bathing and hugging the baby. Just a few days, the baby had recognized our voice. The nannies from the Child Care Home said the baby is looking forward to meeting us every day. In addition to going to Child Care Home every day, we were also busy with arranging new furniture, household items for our baby. On 28 July, we officially brought our baby home. The happiness was indescribable. This lovely baby quickly adapted to our family. Hayley makes our life perfect.

The adoption father wrote in his diary:

"........ when I arrived home after work and opened the door, I heard ten-month-old Hayley and her mom's laughter from the bathroom, it was time for my wife taking a bath for Hayley. Whenever I walked into the bathroom quietly, I always heard a heartwarming voice calling me "papa", and followed by a lovely face turned to me and smiled. Her appearance has made an incredible change in our lives which full of happiness.

Maybe one day when Hayley grew up and began to know what had happened to her, she might want to find her birthparents. As adoptive parents, we have an obligation to help Hayley to understand her history. We will keep protecting her, and hope she can accept her history in a positive way and live in a happy and wonderful life. At the same time, we hope that we will always remember our love which is beyond blood relationship."

Voice of an Adoptee

2. Adoptive mother’s voice

In June 2012, we got good news that we were successfully matched with our long-awaited boy. Our hearts melted in tenderness the first time we saw him!

Even if it was a complex and hard process, we thought it was absolutely worthwhile.

Our delight increases each day as our son grows up. He has become our motive power and the family’s “treasure”. It is the best arrangement that God gives us as we can accompany him and share his happiness and sorrow. We are grateful and hope to shelter him from the storm and help him grow up happily and healthily.

Voice of an Adoptee

1. Letters to the children from adoptive parents

Dear Andy:

Do you know that October 10, 2010 is taken as a day that is “perfect in every way”. But for us, it is also a special day, because it is one-month anniversary of your coming home.

In retrospect, it took us great power and courage to make a decision on adoption; and we had to repeatedly prove our determination and ability during the application. But now, we firmly believe that our decision is right because we can see your smile every day. You not only illuminate our lives, but also make our family more complete.

Andy, Mom and Dad hope you remember that from the moment when we hold your hands, you are bound up with us tightly; adoption is just a way you come to us, and you are our good boy.

Your loving Dad and Mom